Communist convention goes 5 minutes without ideological infighting, sets new record
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – The annual communist convention went 5 minutes without ideological infighting, an impressive mark that communists all…
Month: August 2024
Stock Market crashes after revealing battle with suicidal ideation
NEW YORK (Pistachio Times) – The Stock Market recently announced its ongoing battle with suicidal ideation, causing a major loss…
Pickleball doesn’t bring back youthful athleticism, study finds
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – A recent study found that pickleball doesn’t bring back youthful athleticism and exuberance, leaving many middle…
I miss parody films
It’s a shame that parody films are almost extinct in 2024 because so many of my favorite comedy films are…
‘I’m not part of the system,’ says key cog-turner
PORTLAND (Pistachio Times) – Ana Williams, a woman who claims to be anti-establishment, is a key part of the Oregon…
My awful consumer education experience
A major complaint by many individuals is that school doesn’t teach students how to pay taxes and similar responsibilities. As…
A Zoo
A child looked up at his father, his face etched with curiosity. “Is it hurt?” the young boy asked. “It…
Sandcastle community wiped out by huge wave
SOUTH HAVEN, Mich. (Pistachio Times) – Thousands of lives were lost this afternoon when a freak wave completely wiped out…
An open letter to Thomas S. Ricketts
Dear Mr. Ricketts, What the hell are you doing? Why am I waking up to the news that the Cubs…