Joe Biden and Donald Trump had another invigorating debate last night. This time around Biden was even more mentally incapable than before while Trump was his same old self. It’s comforting to know that despite a once in a generation pandemic, record high inflation and wars in Ukraine and Israel that Trump is still the same narcissistic, compulsive liar that he was in 2015.
A decent amount of the debate centered around both candidates basically bickering over whether things happened. It felt like I was watching a married couple arguing over who left the lights on, except it was about the most pressing issues facing the U.S. today. For example, Biden and Trump passed around the blame for inflation like it was a divorce proceeding.
In a court of law both would be decidedly unfit to have custody of the U.S., but unfortunately there’s no foster system for countries quite yet, so we’re stuck between the equivalent of an absent father and a child abuser.
Trump particularly annoyed me because he kept bringing up migrants even when they had nothing to do with the topic at hand. He brought them up during the section about climate change which made absolutely no sense because he wasn’t responding to a Biden claim or anything. It’s as though his campaign manager said “make sure to bring up the migrant issue” and he took it as “bring up the migrants at all costs since it’ll make for a good soundbite.”
Biden’s campaign manager was probably trying to cover his eyes as he stumbled through most of the debate, especially his closing statement. It felt like Biden crammed for the debate and just tried to string a bunch of buzzwords together as though his points would sort of figure themselves out. He also had a really tough time talking about taxes on the wealthy, throwing out numbers like he was a decrepit auctioneer.
And then came the golf. Trump was asked a question about his age and if it would affect his ability to carry out the duties of President. He responded by talking about how he won a few golf tournaments recently, which one has to have a sharp mind for.
He then said Biden couldn’t hit the ball 50 yards and would stand no chance against him. Biden said he would be happy to have a driving competition against him if he could “Carry his own bag. Think you could do it?”
He also bragged about being a six handicap during his vice presidency, which Trump called out as being impossible. Biden then stumbled as he revised his statement and said he was an eight handicap.
What the hell are we doing here? As inflation, rising prices, student loans, climate change and conflict in the world proliferate our two candidates are arguing about their golf abilities. This is honestly beyond parody at this point.
I can’t think of a single more ridiculous topic discussed during a presidential debate than this one. Just when it seems as though our politics can’t get any more absurd, this happens. When politics become so outrageous as to outmatch satire, it becomes difficult to make jokes that are funnier than the real thing.
Our beloved political system may make my commentary irrelevant before AI at this rate. Anyone taking bets?