Local man finally satisfied after turning house into a temperate deciduous forest
COLUMBUS, OH. (Pistachio Times) – A local man has been finally emotionally satisfied after years of building up his collection…
Tag: Satire
Communist convention goes 5 minutes without ideological infighting, sets new record
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – The annual communist convention went 5 minutes without ideological infighting, an impressive mark that communists all…
Stock Market crashes after revealing battle with suicidal ideation
NEW YORK (Pistachio Times) – The Stock Market recently announced its ongoing battle with suicidal ideation, causing a major loss…
Pickleball doesn’t bring back youthful athleticism, study finds
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – A recent study found that pickleball doesn’t bring back youthful athleticism and exuberance, leaving many middle…
‘I’m not part of the system,’ says key cog-turner
PORTLAND (Pistachio Times) – Ana Williams, a woman who claims to be anti-establishment, is a key part of the Oregon…
Sandcastle community wiped out by huge wave
SOUTH HAVEN, Mich. (Pistachio Times) – Thousands of lives were lost this afternoon when a freak wave completely wiped out…
Coconuts infect American heartland
DES MOINES (Pistachio Times) – Mere weeks after the USDA mandated that every American eat corn, coconuts have begun to…
Town shuts down road for no reason
CHICAGO (Pistacho Times) – A village manager recently announced that they would be shutting down an extremely vital road for…
Congress passes Bechdel test
WASHINGTON (Pistachio Times) – The 118th Congress recently passed the Bechdel test, a popular method to measure female representation in…
Fireworks show disappoints aliens
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – A 4th of July fireworks show was interrupted last night by a group of passing aliens.…