DOGE: solving government inefficiency one more department at a time
Trump recently announced the creation of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) headed by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy. The…
Tag: Politics
A quick autopsy on the failures of the Democratic party
The 2024 Presidential Election was an absolute disaster for the United States, and the Democrats should not be absolved from…
Communist convention goes 5 minutes without ideological infighting, sets new record
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – The annual communist convention went 5 minutes without ideological infighting, an impressive mark that communists all…
Coconuts infect American heartland
DES MOINES (Pistachio Times) – Mere weeks after the USDA mandated that every American eat corn, coconuts have begun to…
Congress passes Bechdel test
WASHINGTON (Pistachio Times) – The 118th Congress recently passed the Bechdel test, a popular method to measure female representation in…
Are we seriously talking about golf?
Joe Biden and Donald Trump had another invigorating debate last night. This time around Biden was even more mentally incapable…
USDA mandates every American must eat corn
WASHINGTON (Pistachio Times) – The USDA announced that every U.S. citizen must eat at least one cob of corn a…
Microplastics found in Heaven
VATICAN CITY (Pistachio Times) – Pope Francis announced shocking news for Christians all over the world early this morning: microplastics…
Kansas washes away
TOPEKA, Kan. is sliding down the United States. Erosion from unsustainable agriculture practices was exacerbated earlier this week from a…