Coconuts infect American heartland
DES MOINES (Pistachio Times) – Mere weeks after the USDA mandated that every American eat corn, coconuts have begun to…
Month: July 2024
A medium list of infuriating things
Imagine the scene: you’re on a date at a restaurant, and you want to wash your hands before you dig…
Town shuts down road for no reason
CHICAGO (Pistacho Times) – A village manager recently announced that they would be shutting down an extremely vital road for…
Congress passes Bechdel test
WASHINGTON (Pistachio Times) – The 118th Congress recently passed the Bechdel test, a popular method to measure female representation in…
Fireworks show disappoints aliens
CHICAGO (Pistachio Times) – A 4th of July fireworks show was interrupted last night by a group of passing aliens.…
Lasagna is overrated
This article may result in getting cursed by my Italian ancestors, but I must speak my truth. Lasagna is overrated.…